Sure, blame me and Bob for burning the house down just because we were using bottle rockets indoors. It was harmless fun. You and Jay were the ones playing with a propane tank, road flare, gorilla glue, pizza sauce, and plutonium while watching the Wizard of Oz, listening to the Dark Side of the Moon, and eating cheetos. The blueprints looked kind of cool but what were you trying to invent anyhow? Anyway, it wasn’t our fault that you put your concoction right where our rocket needed to land.

"Um, we were playing with a smoke machine we found. Yeah, that's it. A Smoke Machine. And then we got a little hungry so we ate a bunch of Cheetos. We were about to watch Wizard Of Oz while listening to Dark Side Of The Moon to see if they match up, but then the house caught on fire. But then again, you wouldn't know anything about that, would you. It wouldn't have anything to do with the bottle rockets you were firing off in the living room, would it?"

Yeah, but I had no idea that he was such an intellectual person. I learned so much about the matters of life though the human genome. It’s too bad that the room got fulled with so much smoke. By the way, what were you and Jay doing during all this?

"Of course he had a lot to say. the silent ones always do. and how could he not have something to say about the ethics of Super Villains. it is a very interesting subject."

No, for some reason those brownies make me hungry. And I don’t care if he stole a song I wrote, I got to meet Jay and Bob! I mean, before I got drunk and passed out, me and Bob had a long discussion. He may be called Silent but if you mention the ethics of super villains, he has a lot to say.

"you did write a song, but you got drunk, passed out, and Afroman stole it. He just changed a few things before recording it. I wasn't even going to invite him, but when you heard that Jay and Bob were with him, you insisted that I invite him. By the way, I got that recipie for brownies that yoou wanted from them."

Most of them actually work, even while I’m drunk. And Isn’t that what life is all about? And you have the same problem. Some of your plans fail because you are stoned. Remember... oh wait, you can’t, you were stoned. You could of built a mech, but you were high. You could of taken financial control of new York, but you got high. You could of made Ireland take over Britain, but you got high. But you got high, but you got high, but you got high. I could write a song! And you were supposed to travel to the moon with me but you got high while watching me get drunk.

"That's your excuse for everything. The meddling kids and you got drunk. The time you could have gone to the moon? hung over and missed your flight. The time you almost stopped the Unabomber, got drunk. the time you almost destroyed half a planet using only a safty pin and a roll of duct tape? those meddeling kids. Why not just admit it. you have a problem. None of your plans work out as planned."

In my defense I was planning to blow them all up. It would of worked if it wasn’t for the meddling kids, the fact that they never entered the facility, and the fact that I got drunk and pasted out.

"I was not on American Idol. That was my clone. and if I remember correctly, you were the last one in the cloning lab before that. You told me that you locked the door behind you, yet he got out some how and showed up on that stupid show.

Besides. Could be worse. You're the only one I have ever scene turned down on Extreme makeover Home Edition. For some unknown reason they didn't believe you were blind, handi cap, and that you housed 100 orphans in your in there, especially when they went to where they were supposed to be and found a NUCLEAR REACTOR!"

And I will continue to deny just like I deny that I have stock in oil and have a computer chip implied in almost half of congress! And like you deny my greatness as well as the fact that you were on episodes of American Idol.

"ok, I may have been a bit stoned at the time, but that still doesn't change the fact that you had Gary Coleman working security for you!."

Yeah, a secret verson that said Mortal Kombat on the CD. And you were partly high at the time, I’m sure you misread that. It wouldn’t have been the first time.

"No, it was Tekken. It was a, umm, top secret version that guess stared Scorpion and Subzero and included Fatalities. And if he was just there for Coffee, then why was there a name plague on the front desk that said Gary Coleman, Head of Security?"

He was there for coffee! And you didn’t kick my butt it Tekken. You could never beat me in Tekken. You just put a Mortal Kombat game inside a Tekken case and kicked my butt in Mortal Kombat. You forget that I was once the King of Iron Fists, before my little brother beat me. Little Brother……. I will have my revenge……

"That was pretty funny, but I seem to recall a time when I was at one of your basses to kick your but at Tekken 5, which I did, and seeing Gary Coleman behind the front desk."

For the last time, I didn’t hire him for my security. I’m just the one who got him the security job at that mall. Luckily the press left that out. I just did it because I thought that it would be funny.

"Yeah, I prefere the classics. But atleast now you know what the secret was." The man in the fedora said, laughing. He took another drink of his coffee. "And atleast I didn't hire Gary Coleman for my security. I got people who accually couold see over the top of the desk to see the camera moniters."

Coke mixes well with … with socializing. Plus you kept bragging about your security saying I could never sneak in you base. I keep telling you. Train you henchmen to treat every camera malfunction as an base breach. Unfortunately for me, I didn’t know that your coke was the original recipe and I had to take a drug test the next day. Now I can’t even go to Utah anymore.

"Don't worry, that was just in Utah, remember. And I wouldn't have had to do that if you had just stayed away from my secret base. I still can't believe you got in there, and why? To steal my secret plans? To sabatage my latest project? To try and kill me? no. YOu broke into my secret base, past all my security, to get a can of Coke. you don't even like Coke. You like Pepsi!"

“No. All that was true but we still dated for a few more months and we still keep in touch. The only people that have a restraining order on me is my little sister, that girl from South Dakota I dated, and… oh yeah, you. On that note.” That man with the long hair and trench coat pulls his chair an inch further away from the man with the fedora. “There, that should do it.”

"Yeah, I remember you telling me about that date. Wasn't she the one who you took to Burger king, made her pay for her food, got mad at when she said that Batman was a sissy, got into a food fight with, which lead to one with the manager, which lead to you being banned from all Burger Kings in that state? Doesn't she have a restraining order against you now or something?"

Stop calling me a drunk! I’m a social drinker. I was just socializing before a hearing. And I wasn’t hitting on her. I was hitting on the female bailiff. I didn’t know she was a bailiff, who ever heard of a female bailiff? And I was drunk, I mean socializing. Plus I did get a date later. But Lucas, I’ll still get my revenge!

"How do you think I made it throught he Prequels. I had my GBA on the whole time. And you didn't lose the case because of the Gameboy. You lost it because you showed up drunk and were hitting on the judge. I'm just glad she had a sense of humor or else she would have thrown you in jail."

Copy of Sin City, ouch! I guess you’re right. But I don’t think the court system is all that bad, not if you have a game boy. That’s what I used while I was suing George Lucas for making episode 1. The Game Boy kept me entertained throughout the proceedings. Well, it did make me lose the case though, and I got fined for interpreting the court room with the game.

"Ok, so I got a bit carried away, but I had to go with explosives. you know how much I hate lawyers. it was either destroy everything or sit in a court room during a coywrite infingment lawsuit until I went mad and killed everyone before taking out my lawyer using rusty pliers, a garden hose, and a copy of Sin City."

Just most? What good Vam Damn movies are there? They were making one with a good story but you destroyed all the sets because you though they copied one of your own stories. Other than that, his movies are the worst.

An you could have just sued then over copy rights but no, had to go with explosives. I’m a pyro too, but you killed the director and the producer. I can understand the producer, but the director?

"That is pretty bad, but I heard that the General forced them to watch "To Wong Fu" before he gave them the candy. I can't think of anything more evil. And besides, not all Van Damn movies are bad, just most of them."

My brother forced a whole orphanage watch the Jean Claude Van Damn movies just to hear them cry. Now that’s evil. And that general gave the kids candy before burning then to death, he wasn’t completely evil. We could of saved the day but you wanted to see the larges ball of string in India and we were late. And the ball of string wasn’t that big, a cat was playing with it.

"He couldn't be that bad. after all, that guy burned an orphanage just to watch it burn. How could your brother be worse then that."

Of course, I have a dread fear of my eldest brother. I’ve come to terms with that. Plus what about your older brother. You have to change your storage facilities’ location once a month because of your brother. If you knew what it was capable of you would be afraid as well. Remember what that general we met while trying to sell cows in India. My eldest brother is worse.

"Which is why I built one in Utah. No one will think to look there, except your brother obvioulsy. And only one of them was an empyt warehouse. the other one was an empty office building that he had been using before abandoning it.

Besides, I'm still doing better then you. You haven't raken any from him, but he took four of yours if I remember right."

Walking into a abandoned warehouse and declaring it my brother’s base does not count as taking over my brother’s bases, so you only took 1. He still gots you by 2. And come on, who owns a secret base in Utah? You can’t do anything in Utah.

Oh yeah. He's cool. After all, I took 3 of his bases, so it was only fair that he take a few of mine. By the way, could you aks him if he ever found what was causing the smell in the Utah base? I tore that thing apart looking for it, but never found anything. Smelt like something died in research lab 7."

“the one with the space weapon platform, the Japanese/Korean task force, mutant rabbit army, took 3 of you older bases, 2 of mine, and 6 from Steve, you know, my brother who sells cars and took us to Cuba for Thanksgiving.”

"Which one? The one in Montana, the one in Florida, or the one in the Bahamas? doesn't really matter, because he won't beable to get me at any of them. He might as well go back to trying to take you out."

The man in the fedora took a drink of coffe before looking at the other man. "Wait, which brother?"

The man with the long hair shook, “yeah, don’t remind me. My brother tried that on me and I talked like I was an auctioneer. On a separate note, my Brother might, just might, know where you’re secret hidden lair is.”

"I figured I wouldn't have to tell you about that one. It's just wrong for a guy to do that to another guy. And if you want to try a really fun one, strap them to a chair and make them watch The View. I've accually had guys begging for death rather then watch it. Oprah and Dr Phil work too."

“I just wanted to see it for myself. Seeing a person die was pretty die because of pokamon was pretty funny you have to admit. And I already knew the information that time, I just like to ask anyway. No sense in ruining a good torture. I did this a few times just to study the effect. I even did it with Zach Bell and that just makes them cry. Once (while I was parctally drunk) I was about to try that new torture that was in the newest James Bond movie but one, that’s just gross, and two, apparently its against the code of the evil villains. You’re suppose to tell me these things, I no longer get the newsletter because I switched addresses.

"I never said it wouldn't work. I said that threatening to pee on someone would work better. And I was right about the about the Pokemon Torture. I told you that they wouldn't talk, but did you believe me? NNNooo. You just put in the DVD and hit play. Did any one talk? no, it just made them go into seizures and die. Next time jsut make them watch some stupid Anume that doesn't kill people, something like Zatch Bell."

“And it still worked, I still took over France, that was my plan. My brother said it wouldn’t work, but it did. He was right about China. Apparently they don’t like you throwing up on the desks. On a separate note, you’re wrong about the water torture. It is quite affective.”

"Hate to burst your bubble, but you didn't take over france while drunk using peanut butter. You walked in, threw up on the desk, and passed out. You didn't even say yu were taking over. You were rambling on about TPS reports. They were willing to clean up the mess, but were to afraid to go near you incase you threw up again, so they just left and let you take over."